Trying Times

There is no doubt our family is currently in the midst of a trying time. I will spare you all the details of the illnesses, conditions, and family developments we've faced this past week. It will suffice to say, it's been a whole lot.

It concerns me however, there may be a perception of pity, or a spirit of fear for our family when others hear some of what our family is currently facing. I know this because, I personally have had to work through both of these emotions this past week.

It is hard. It has been hard. It may get harder. There are sacrifices. There are dark days. There are dark weeks, and sometimes the weeks flow into months, BUT it is a small price to pay for the pleasure of being able to see what we've witnessed since our arrival in Lesotho. A lot has gone wrong lately, but a whole lot more has gone right. What has gone wrong is temporal and of this world. What has gone right is eternal and divine in nature.

I hesitate, and have prayed a lot about sharing this next revelation publicly, because I am very protective of the people we have grown to love; the boys who've become part of our family. However, I feel it is also important to share the victories we've seen in the name of Jesus, so there is never a doubt of why we are here.

We do it for the boys we've been ministering to for 7-months, who came to know Jesus on a personal level last week, who hunger and thirst for more of HIS WORD. While our boys were sick this week, our Basotho boys were experiencing their first week of freedom in Christ and sharing this pure joy with us. It is has been awe inspiring to watch these transformations take place right before our eyes.

Yes, it is scary to not have access to American medical care when your sons are sick, staying sick, and getting sicker. It is all too easy to romanticize about how it would be if we were home, and it becomes harder and harder as the days go on to see your sons suffer. When what you love most in this world faces emergent danger and the options are just scary, it is too easy to ask yourself, "Where am I?" "How did I get here?" "Why am I here?" Last night, as our son faced an uncertain medical crisis, the answers to these questions flowed over me and left me with a clarity I don't believe I had before.

The Lord gave me the names and faces of the boys he has placed in our lives. I saw their faces and was reminded of their tragic stories, but also of the look in their eyes when they accepted Jesus into their hearts. I am not sacrificing the sons of my womb for Lesotho's sons, however, I am willing to trust Jesus with my four boys knowing HE loves them more than I ever could. HIS plan is never about just US and HIS plan is what I want to come to fruition in my own boys' lives, not my own. We are here because we desire to follow God's plan.

Do I think we go through trials merely because we are missionaries in Africa? No, but I do believe God has us in the midst of a battle for eternal souls, and needs us in places where he can teach and mold us at all times. This means opening ourselves up to pain, but it also means we just may have the privilege of seeing the SPIRIT work in lives like we would not have otherwise. IT IS AN HONOR, and one we do not take lightly.

One of the faces we've grown to love!