Warning: Strong Wills Reside at This House

I have been falling behind the eight ball so to speak as it pertains to disciplining our boys. Slowly poor behavior, bad habits, and disrespect have gone unchecked in our home and the results have been less then comely. So, when a woman's voice on the radio, speaking about strong willed children broke through the bickering in our family vehicle, I sat up and paid attention. Her name is Cynthia Tobias and she is the author of You Can't Make Me, but I Could be Persuaded. I have owned this book for years, but clearly had forgotten the practical wisdom she offers in it. Yesterday in the car, it was as though I was hearing her concepts for the very first time. The timing for this advice was perfect for our family. You see, we are a household of strong wills, and this at times causes for an inharmonious home.

Lately, it has been too easy to only look at the negative aspects of a strong willed personality, but Tobias reminded us of the, "diamond in the rough," that is the strong willed person. I have known since my earliest memory that I am one of these people. I have never suffered fools easily, or been the person to sit back and allow wrongs to prevail. My parents would probably say I was their biggest challenge as a child to raise, and now I am raising four boys who have been blessed with even stronger wills than I have ever had. In fact, I have needed to rely on my own strong will almost every day in order to hold onto the God given parental authority I have over my sons.

The freedom Tobias gives in her book is something that I remember being liberated by years ago, but hearing her on the radio yesterday allowed me to free my sons from the limitations I had been trying to place on their wills. You see, God intended for the strong willed child, man, woman to be just that....STRONG. I can look back over my life thus far and see many, many situations in which I got through by sheer will and determination. Coupled with God's help, I know I will need these same attributes as I move to a life as a missionary in Africa. The potential of a strong willed person who has surrendered poor behavior over to God is vast.

If you have a strong willed child, or person in your life, here are some of the points Tobias makes that I feel resound the most. As a strong willed person...

1. Your relationship with me is ALL you have with me. If you lose our relationship, you lose me.

2. I want to see the boundaries. I will ALWAYS test them, but I want to see that they exist.

3. DO NOT YELL AT ME! It will be all the more difficult to get me to do what you want the next time.

4. Ask me to do tasks, don't tell me to do them, then follow the request with an, "okay?"

5. Let me fall, allow me to fail. This is how I learn.

6. I know when I have done wrong. Punish me and allow me to move on.

7. Don't give me empty threats. Calmly issue the punishment. I know I deserve it.

8. Pray for me!

* If you do not know anybody with a strong will this will probably seem very much like permissive hogwash to you. However, if you have been blessed to know, or BE a strong willed person, I pray this post, and the Holy Spirit speak to you in some way.