Warning: Strong Wills Reside at This House

I have been falling behind the eight ball so to speak as it pertains to disciplining our boys. Slowly poor behavior, bad habits, and disrespect have gone unchecked in our home and the results have been less then comely. So, when a woman's voice on the radio, speaking about strong willed children broke through the bickering in our family vehicle, I sat up and paid attention. Her name is Cynthia Tobias and she is the author of You Can't Make Me, but I Could be Persuaded. I have owned this book for years, but clearly had forgotten the practical wisdom she offers in it. Yesterday in the car, it was as though I was hearing her concepts for the very first time. The timing for this advice was perfect for our family. You see, we are a household of strong wills, and this at times causes for an inharmonious home.

Lately, it has been too easy to only look at the negative aspects of a strong willed personality, but Tobias reminded us of the, "diamond in the rough," that is the strong willed person. I have known since my earliest memory that I am one of these people. I have never suffered fools easily, or been the person to sit back and allow wrongs to prevail. My parents would probably say I was their biggest challenge as a child to raise, and now I am raising four boys who have been blessed with even stronger wills than I have ever had. In fact, I have needed to rely on my own strong will almost every day in order to hold onto the God given parental authority I have over my sons.

The freedom Tobias gives in her book is something that I remember being liberated by years ago, but hearing her on the radio yesterday allowed me to free my sons from the limitations I had been trying to place on their wills. You see, God intended for the strong willed child, man, woman to be just that....STRONG. I can look back over my life thus far and see many, many situations in which I got through by sheer will and determination. Coupled with God's help, I know I will need these same attributes as I move to a life as a missionary in Africa. The potential of a strong willed person who has surrendered poor behavior over to God is vast.

If you have a strong willed child, or person in your life, here are some of the points Tobias makes that I feel resound the most. As a strong willed person...

1. Your relationship with me is ALL you have with me. If you lose our relationship, you lose me.

2. I want to see the boundaries. I will ALWAYS test them, but I want to see that they exist.

3. DO NOT YELL AT ME! It will be all the more difficult to get me to do what you want the next time.

4. Ask me to do tasks, don't tell me to do them, then follow the request with an, "okay?"

5. Let me fall, allow me to fail. This is how I learn.

6. I know when I have done wrong. Punish me and allow me to move on.

7. Don't give me empty threats. Calmly issue the punishment. I know I deserve it.

8. Pray for me!

* If you do not know anybody with a strong will this will probably seem very much like permissive hogwash to you. However, if you have been blessed to know, or BE a strong willed person, I pray this post, and the Holy Spirit speak to you in some way.

I wanna be just like you

We spent this past weekend with my sister, Amy and her family in Lynchburg, VA. The trip served two purposes. One, to celebrate my niece, Emma's 10th Birthday, and two, to share our ministry during Amy's Sunday School class at Thomas Road Baptist Church.

Every Ministry Partnership trip has its highs and lows, but this trip was mostly highs. It was a delight to spend time with my beautiful nieces and share in their lives. It was so great to catch up with my brother, Sam and his family, and to see my sister, Marita and her kids. The time with my siblings was refreshing and rewarding, and I am thankful for the opportunity I had to simply be myself with my brother and sisters. These people know better than anyone the journey I have been on for the past 13 years, and it was awesome to be welcomed as a missionary into my sister's and brother's church.

When we were presenting to my sister, Amy's Sunday School class I tried hard to avert my eyes from her's. I knew if I caught her eye I would become a puddle of emotion. I failed desperately at this task. I am not sure why I became so emotional in front of my older sister's class, but I think it has a lot to do with the way she was looking at me. She was so proud.

Amy is 9-years older than me. She named me, Megan Rose. She allowed me to sleep in the same bed with her until I was way too old, and then shared her bed with me on college breaks until she was a married woman. My earliest childhood memories are with my sister Amy, and my most poignant adult memories have her at my side.

This past Sunday, in the car when we were alone, Amy simply said to me in her soft, sweet voice, "I am so proud of you." Those words mean the world to me, but what I was unable to say to her was, she should be equally as proud of herself. I could not ever be where I am in life, or ministry if it were not for her love and support. If I had not had her to idolize as a little girl, to aspire to be like as a young woman, to learn from as a young mother and wife, and to emulate as a daughter of Christ, I would not be where I am today on my journey.

I was not able to say how equally proud I am of my big sister. I am proud of the daughters she is putting out into the world. I am proud of how she is the first person to jump into her car and come to the aid of anybody who is in need. I am proud of her loving heart, and of her quick humor. I am proud of how she stands her ground in a sweet and gentle way. In many ways I hope to be just like her when I finish growing up, mostly because,.....she tries to be just like Jesus.

"Welcome Home"

As we passed the sign welcoming us to the state of Tennessee Alex yelled enthusiastically, "Aden, we are home!" Although Alex only spent the first 2 1/5 years of his childhood, and Aden merely the first 9 days of his life in Tennessee, my boys very much enjoyed their homecoming this past week.

We were able to show the boys many of the places that housed the first moments of our little family, and to nostalgically walk down roads we have not seen in six long years. However, the best part of being back home in Tennessee was the familiar faces of friends. It did our hearts well to see these people from our pasts. When we moved to Elizabethton, Tenn. we had only been married two short weeks, and now we have been married for over a decade. So many things have transpired during these years that have changed us as human beings, but in many ways things are still untouched in Elizabethton. From the iconic covered bridge, to the local newspaper I wrote for, time has not seemed to wear away at these memories.

Neal Bachman, Rich's first boss in TN, blessed our boys with a ride in his airplane. We were able to go on hikes in the snow in the mountains, we saw a bear up close and personal, and we were able to worship with our old church family at EAC. We also were treated to a special lunch at the Bachman home with old friends. After lunch we enjoyed another reunion with fellow missionaries, the Schmidts, who started out in this process long before us in Kenya, Africa. Both reunions offered wisdom, and strength for a continued journey.

We will forever remember Tennessee as the place in which we grew up...quickly. We cut our teeth on some of life's most direct blows, and greatest blessings in the rugged mountains of Tennessee. It is interesting how it can still feel so familiar after all these years, it has been woven into the very fabrics that make up our beings. It is home.